‘Maybe I Am’

Maybe I Am. Image made by author on Canva

I used to be dumb
Maybe I still am
Would say yes to every opinion
Yet was called intelligent

Maybe I was
Put up my hands in class, corrected the blunders of my mates
So I was called the English dictionary

Was I?
Still don't know when to use 'safe' for 'save' nor 'proof' for 'prove'

Got me a tutor to help me pass the entrance
Hated her, hated maths, flopped the exams
But still got in somehow

169 in JAMB the first time,
I still recall her voice, soft and encouraging
Did I deserve it?

By my standards, I’ve been a failure, yet they never saw me as one.
Is there a crown on my head?
I don’t feel it, they see it
Am I intelligent?
They say yes
Do I deserve their love?
They say yes
Am I dumb?
They say no, but I must be.
Dumb and blind, to not have recognized that tho I was birthed into a world that now lacks love, the people I now call family have always loved me.

And if love truly is blind, I've seen it in their eyes.