Moving On

I'm tired,

I’m tired of staring, waiting, for the first tick to duplicate itself

I'm tired of faking,

That I don't care what you do with your life when in truth, I care.

I weigh the probabilities of a 100 possibilities of things that could happen in your life every day,

And out of a 100, I wish 1 would be you thinking of me.

I know, I know, you've got a lot to handle

So I wallow solely in my agony

Keeping you at bay so you think I have no problems

So you can tell me your problems and I'd offer you my shoulders to lean on

So I can be your best friend, your peace…

But I'm I ever enough?

Cos even as you talk I can hear your voice drowning in alcohol

Your words taste like lemon zest

And your eyes…you could barely keep them long enough on me to see the tears fall.

You shove me off to keep your quivering stance

And though my head almost kissed the wall,

All I cared for was not to see you fall.

"He's going through a lot" the excuse I make to pardon your mistreatment.

"He loves me", what I say to make me stay.

"It's just a phase" another excuse I make for you.

But none of it is true, is it?

You don't love me, and it's not a phase.

But like I said, I'm tired.

Watch reel recitation of this piece here